Author Reference
Lango, B. (2016): “So you are wedding….is
it a private or communal project?”. Intel Fire Group of Companies Blog.
Nairobi, Kenya.
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| Sits neatly arranged in readiness for a planned wedding |
Studies have shown that the Kenyan
society is overly communal and more so the not so financially stable and a
couple of middle class Mughal who wants to be identified as having made it
after a long struggle. There is a common belief in the various societies that
once one is working and successful, then it is their responsibility to not only
feed their larger extended family but also contribute handsomely to a project
whose owner’s investment is only an idea and a bank of relatives and friends.
In the interest not to be misunderstood, philanthropy and social projects are
far wide apart. While in philanthropy the donor has the choice of who to give
and champion a course of their interest, the communal donations are neither of
your interest nor do they champion your course unless of course you are the
beneficiary. It is interesting, because when one is struggling to get to the
other end of the tunnel no one bothers to make simple holes on top of the
tunnel to give rays hope that the end is even better. Wedding and especially a
grand-wedding is a personal project and one should not form committees and
further use it to terrorize friends and family in the name of loyalty and to
have your right to communal share in their success.
The news that you have planned for
your grand wedding is not in doubt and all your workmate and church members are
aware however what you have failed to mention to them is that they will foot
all the bills. Your budget is almost a million bob yet what you have at the
moment, six months to your wedding, is ten thousand and bill the rest on hope
that family and friends have a communal responsibility to foot the rest. And to
ensure that this communal responsibility is adhered to you form a committee and
digitize it through WhatsUp group which by default all your friends and
prospective family members are invited and reminded on weekly basis of their
responsibilities and the set target. No one including the writer is against
your grand wedding, but when you are planning for a wedding ensure that your
pocket will take care of every budget however little. If not, insure your
pockets by taking a loan and you will be spoilt for choice from your bankers to
that relative of yours. Your family and friends should only come to show
compassion and friendship through gifts or just being there during the wedding.
As a policy, if you are a family or workmate to a colleague organizing a
wedding through a finance committee, stay away as this person is not ready for
the marriage let alone the wedding. Why? You contribute to their wedding, next
to their new house, next they are expecting a baby where your contribution will
be greatly expected….and the chain is on and on. Wed according to your pocket
and remember wedding as a social project starts at the church with the pastor
and ends at the same church with the pastor’s pronouncement of “I now pronounce you man and wife”, the
rest are just sideshows that you should avoid if your pocket does not allow.
COMPLEXITY OF A WEDDING PROJECT IS DETERMINED BY LEVEL OF THE BRIDE & GROOM’S
EGO.
The writer is a PhD Generalist in
Service Delivery and Project Management
